Heartbroken

There are places in this world where rivers flow backwards, stars fall from the sky, compasses lose their direction, great curtains of light cascade from the heavens to grace the tallest treetops, and miraculous things happen when time stops. We can make sense of these phenomena - but to this day, we cannot make sense of a broken heart. I wish I had the answers. I may be older now, but I am no muse when it comes to heartbreak.

What I do know is this: the sun goes away for a while, just to shine brighter and feel warmer when next you see it; your heart beats a little slower at times, just to gently remind you there is still life after the pain; you sink in to the days as they pass, just to learn how to breathe where air does not exist; teardrops become rainbows falling across your cheek as the light catches them; the quiet hurts, the memories hurt, the song that plays on repeat over the radio is like an echo of the past you can't go back to, and it hurts; you lose a little of yourself, just to find a stronger version waiting for you down the road; you second guess the choices that brought you here, the reasons you thought mattered so much before suddenly do not matter at all.

We get burned by what we cannot control, by what we cannot change. It's a life lesson that always hits harder than we're prepared for, but from the ashes left behind, we rise. Rise better for the love we felt. Rise wiser for the hope we held. Rise with a renewed sense of grace for this life that comes with storms, yet provides the rain to dance in.

So many say there is a difference between the hurt you feel from your first broken heart, and the hurt you feel from a broken heart that hits later in life. I do not believe that statement, not at all. Age does not matter, a broken heart leaves a mark that even time cannot seem to erase. It's an ache that takes your breath away. A breath you know you will spend a lifetime chasing, but never catch. I've been there. Far too many times.

I do believe we are designed with this constant internal reminder to fall back on faith, to throw thousands of prayers heavenward and hope with everything we are for restored peace. For the calm after the storm. And keeping your focus on that faith when you feel as though you are broken and bleeding inside, is undoubtedly one of the most agonizing feelings you will experience in this life.

The best medicine for a broken heart I have found, is the gift of simple wishes: as many smores as any one person can possibly eat, a star soaked sky, a warm night, a crackling campfire, and finding yourself out in the middle of nowhere, making new memories to tip the hourglass of a life that exists now only - once upon a time...